I'm Still Alive!

I’m still alive! As always, those of you seeking the shortened version of things, there you have it. If you want a little more (ok so I lied, a lot more, I just spent my first two weeks in China what were you really expecting) keep reading.



So the inspiration for the “I’m still alive” statement is my recent experience with Chinese transportation. After two weeks of paying a whopping $4 a day to get to and from work, (I am a pro at haling cabs now) I decided to go for the more environmentally friendly and more Chinese mode of transportation.



After an exceptionally lucky encounter with a very nice Chinese girl named Selina, I am the proud owner of a blue, two wheeled, aluminum framed, Mandi-powered bicycle. Basically I had the choice between a bunch of identical blue or gray models all of which were too short and had the skinniest wheels I have ever seen. After the lady adjusted the seat to as high as it would go and tightened the pedals I took my new baby for an extremely wobbly spin around the show floor to the great amusement of all the Chinese in the area. Once I got it on the street, I was glad to find that some of the wobbliness did go away.



After sitting and staring at my new purchase for a few hours I decided to brave the streets and see if I could actually find my way to work and back. I made it to EF Tianta (where I work) with no problem except for the minor inconvenience of having to dodge an overflowing garbage truck. Having achieved this small success I decided to try and find the Olympic soccer stadium and find tickets for an upcoming game if possible. I headed off with about 70% confidence I would find the place I had been two days before when Janet (my boss) and I had tried to get tickets. What I didn’t realize is that as the backseat passenger on Janet’s electric bike, I hadn’t been paying as much attention as I needed to. I soon found myself by a huge manmade lake taking left turns like crazy. Now, I know that is sounds pathetic to say that I can’t make left turns, I have been driving for several years and I am not new to bike riding, but anyone who has ever experienced Chinese traffic may begin to understand my dilemma. As far as I can understand, the cars follow the traffic signals about 60% of the time and the bikes even less. I found my self being blasted past by angry bikers whenever I stopped for the red light and honked at by angry drivers whenever I didn’t. To add to this confusion, turning left involves making a serpentine slither through all four ways of cars coming at your in order to make it to the other side. Some how I did manage this without a) dying and b) causing an accident. I did end up down several dead end streets and had at least 8 people decide that I was the lucky one they were going to scream “Hellowa” at as I cycled by.



After an hour of city exploration (I had decided to give up on the stadium at this point and chalk the ride up to an opportunity to get my bearings) I found myself in the crowd of soccer spectators leaving the stadium, here more people said “hellowa” (they all seem really enthusiastic about hearing me say hello back) and I discovered that I would be working for the rest of the games hosted in Tianjin.



With this I started home. It was at this point that I started to have a bit of trouble with the pollution here (for the first time since arriving), my eyes became sore and the lovely exhaust smell began to become overwhelming. I successfully navigated my way home, but never in my life have I had so many consecutive moments where my mind was thinking “oh no, I am going to die.” After having two cars nearly back into me, avoiding 6 busses by inches, 4 taxis cut me off to stop dead just ahead of me, and surviving a few more deadly left turns I made it back home to take the elevator to my 20th floor apartment.